It was a day on heaven, when the Lord comes and says “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go to ther other room.” Said and done, the next time The Lord looked the women are gone and there are two lines. The line of the men that were dominated by their women was miles long, and in the line of men that dominated their women, there was only one man. The Lord got mad and said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons that stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?” And the man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here”.
Some metallurgist had the expertise to find out how woman are great with the below characteristics:
PROPERTIES and USAGE
1. High magnetism towards gold, silver and precious metals.
2. Inflammable and explodes without prior warning or no reason.
3. Activity will be highly triggered by saturation of alcohol
4. High currency draining agent known to man
5. Great aid to relaxation.
6. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations to avoid direct contact as its highly inflammable.
My friend and I were talking about the Indian matrimonial sites and how people express themselves with their expectations for a LIFE PARTNER (obviously, we were looking for my bachelor friend). he came across the below ads from brides, which he mentioned to me:
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Hello To Viewvers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,
If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good
education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my
heart… when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Vxxxx~*~ (Working in all fields???)
i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from orissa state she
is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework ( Homework?)
Wants a man who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. he may never
create any difficulties in my life or his life by which the entire life can run smoothly.
thank you (The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
he should be good looking and should have a service. he Shoulsd have one brother and one sister. he should be educated. (ain’t it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am
looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ……..
hold my hand forever !!! (The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
i am simple girl.I have lot ofproblemin mylife because ofmylucknow i amlooking oneboyhe caremeandloveme lot lot lot (I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)
i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast (by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell…)
HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO
LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER
> OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE
1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I
WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH. (all of us are loughing{laughing})
whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would
bde called the man of the lamp ( I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this pretty girl wants)
HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1
CAR AND 1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK (I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is suffering from “Ok-syndrome)
Iwant one boy who love me or my mother. he love me heartly or he havea frank
he’s skin colour ‘normal’not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main think
is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful.
but iam not a handsome girl or not a good looking. but my Mom say that
Iam a good girl. My father already expired . iam ‘’AEKLAUTA'’. THE CHOICE IS YOUR.
bye bye. (uttama purishini)
hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily.i divorced my first husband.his charactor is not good’. i expect the
good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted … (but credit cards not accepted..???)
to be married on jan-2005. working man perferable
(this girl has fixed the marriage date too! But she is yet to find a groom.
I wish his best luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure she will get one soon.)
ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not paying salary at present. (Any takers again?)
Please Note : The ads mentioned are not intended to make fun of or insult the bride/girl/woman. Also the Grammar and spell errors in the ads have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from their innocent and pure heart! which I consider is their great asset.
A woman arrived at the NewYork airport with all frustration after a delay in flights and spending 30 hours in transit. She was tired after the unexpected waiting, and the long trip with her 5 young kids. She picked up her luggages and approached the CUSTOMS channel.
A customs officer watched our entourage in doubt and stopped this woman. He asked “Ma’am , “do all these children and this luggage belong to you?”
“Yes, sir,” the woman said with a sigh and took a deep breath continuing “They’re all mine.”. The Customs officer started asking more questions about her travel and status. The woman answered all the questions adding anger and frustration to her travel nightmare. The customs officer finally asked her “Ma’am, do you have any weapons, destructive materials or illegal drugs in your possession?”
She bursted out of her frustration and answered, “if I’d had any of those items, I would have used them by now.”
Here are a few I enjoyed reading from some magazines and websites…
Cool Guy
A father in the Grocery market was pushing a cart which contained grocery and his screaming baby. As the man approached along the aisles, he kept repeating softly,
“Keep calm, George. Dont get excited, George,dont get excited.Dont yell, George. we are done and will go home soon”
A lady watched with admiration and then said,
“You are certainly to be recommended for your patience in trying to quiet little George !!
“Lady, ” he declared ,”I’m George!”
A woman who was pregnant started to feel the labor and shouted at her husband to call the doctor. The husband so stressed called the doctor and speaks out of panic ” Hema is pregnant, I think she is in labor, what should I do ?”.
The doctor asked “Is this her first child ?”/
The man yelled at the doctor saying ” No…NO.. You moron, This is her husband ” !!!!!!
Labor day is no celebration for this stressful husband.
Banta, a sardar was riding a Honda motorcycle at a speed above the the limit on a highway. He rode near a BMW Car and shouted at the driver saying ” Have you seen a motorcyle ride like this” and overtook the BMW. The BMW driver got irritated and speeded to overtake sardars Honda and laughed at him. After a few seconds the Sardar rode near the BMW car and shouted ” Have you seen a motorcyle ride like this” and overtook the BMW. This happend couple of times and after a while the BMW driver found Sardar hooked up in a tree and the Honda motorcyle has hit the tree.
The BMW driver helped sardar to be off hooked from the tree asked why he did that ?. Sardar replied ” I was trying to ask you, if you have seen motorcyle ride like this as I could not locate the BREAKS, help me !!!!”
Note: The content of this site are information I heard and read from friends, magazines or websites. No content is intended for any commercial purpose.